In less than two months now, my wife Sun is due to have our second child.   One of our supporting churches recently told us that they wanted to have a baby shower for her in absentia.  We thought that it would be good to send something along to be read at the baby shower since she would not be able to be there.  As Sun and I got talking, we came up with the following list of challenges and blessings of being a young mom on the mission field.  Every woman, and every family, is different and various parts of the world are very different as well, but here are some thoughts on Sun’s experience here in Thailand.

Challenges

1. Feeling isolated at times. We have very few close friends and no family nearby, and do not have a church family here locally that we can depend upon.
2. The heat!  It is very difficult to be out and about when pregnant
3. It is common for local Thai moms to send their kids off to school at age two and a half  and go to work.  This might be somewhat similar to what some moms do in the States, but it is difficult for these local moms to understand why we don’t rush to send Joshua off to school now that he is three years old
4. Many Thai churches not kid-friendly.  Nowhere to take a crying baby or fidgeting toddler.  This is partly a function of church size as small churches of twenty or thirty people rarely have the people or material resources for a cry room or nursery as is common in many American church buildings.  However, I suspect that another reason that many churches are not kid-friendly is because children are not given a high priority in Thai society and this transfers over into the church.
5. Not many parks or playgrounds to take children to
6. Little to none age-appropriate toys and books for children under 3 years old.  There are some places in Bangkok and Chiang Mai that have nicer imported items but most of what’s readily available is either for older children, poor quality, or both.
7. Stray dogs that wonder everywhere and do their business everywhere, which doesn’t motivate me (Sun) to take Joshua out for a stroll
8. Because I have a high risk pregnancy, we need to travel two hours to a suitable hospital

Blessings

1. Potty training is easier because the floor is hard stone, not carpet
2. I (Sun) have been able to pick up the language fairly well so that even in spite of setbacks with two miscarriages and needing to be at home a lot with Joshua, God has enabled me to continue on with my language and culture acquisition
3. When struggling after first miscarriage, it was good to have the support of other missionaries here in Thailand.   Also, our mission organization gave us time for grieving and family issues which helped us to deal with the problems.  There was no pressure to ‘hurry up and get over it, and get back to ministry’.  They understand that at certain life stages we need to spend more time with family.
4. Lots of good food and fruit, even for our three-year-old Joshua, is readily available and inexpensive.
5. Affordable house help available.  We have been blessed with very capable woman who comes in a few times a week to do some light cleaning, laundry, and make some food.  She is also great with Joshua.
6. We live across the street from the neighborhood community center so I (Sun) have opportunities to interact with other young moms and neighbors
7. Great affordable medical care is available here in Thailand

In a number of Thai churches I have noticed that the type of worship songs selected fall into three general categories: 1) “I offer you my life” 2) “Pour out your Spirit” and, 3) “I want to be close to you”.  This emphasis is hardly unique to Thailand as much of modern worship songs here are heavily influenced from the West.  These type of songs have a time and place yet it seems that in some churches, these are almost the only type of songs that are played.  As we sing the same basic things over and over again, I have begun to wonder, “Where is Christ? Where is the cross?”.  It seems to be a glaring oversight to not have songs about Christ and his finished work on the cross as a mainstay of Christian worship.  

When I come into the weekly worship meeting, the first thing that my heart wants to sing is usually not “I offer my life to you” or “You are my every desire.”  Why is that?  Is it because I am not spiritual enough?  Yes, in fact, that is exactly the reason.  If I am honest to myself, my motivations are usually mixed and Christ is not my every desire.  When songs come up that require me to sing lyrics like “You are all that I want”, I will often go silent or sing very quietly, praying in my heart, “Oh LORD, make me desire nothing but you.  This song is not me.  Change my heart God, and increase my love for you.”  If I sing songs that say more than is really true, then I feel like I am lying to God and everyone around me.

One of the most common religious practices among Thai Buddhists is merit making.  Whether it is giving food to the monks on their daily alms round, bringing offerings to the temple, or chanting in the ancient language of Pali, Thai Buddhists love to make merit.  Granted, some people are more diligent and enthusiastic than others but nonetheless merit making is a mainstay of Buddhist religion in Thailand.  But what benefit do they get out of it?  Why make merit?

I had been thinking about the motivation behind merit making and the righteousness freely offered in Christ when I saw on the book rack at 7-11 a book entitled “Accumulating Merit” (สะสมบุญ).  I picked it up and found and a chapter near the beginning of the book entitled, “Why We Make Merit”.  The author, a Thai Buddhist, writes that making merit is beneficial to both the Buddhist monks [who receive offerings] and to the Buddhists [who bring the offerings]. He puts forward the following reasons for why we (i.e. Thai Buddhists) make merit:

Confessions of faith, creeds, and catechisms have largely fallen into disuse among evangelical Protestant churches.  They are still around and used regularly in some churches but by and large have fallen by the wayside as many believers and churches have put more emphasis on experience and just loving Jesus.  Or some have claimed that "we have no creed but the Bible" but as soon as you say "I believe that the Bible teaches such and such" you have made a summary statement about Biblical teaching.  Such a summary is in essence a creed or confession. No statement of faith ever takes the place of the Bible but it can be a good tool to help people get an overview of what the Bible teaches and learning how to express what we believe the Bible teaches. Some confessions or creeds are better than others but a good one should contain nothing that can't be fairly clearly deduced from Scripture.  Along these lines, I wanted to share a brief story from the autobiography of Daniel McGilvary, pioneer missionary to Northern Thailand:

"In May 1876, Nan Inta was ordained our first ruling elder.  The story has oft been told that before his ordination the [Westminster] Confession of Faith was give him to read carefully, since he would be asked whether he subscribed to its doctrines.  When he had finished the reading, he remarked that he saw nothing peculiar in its teachings.  It was very much like what he had read in Paul's epistles!" (Daniel McGilvary, "A Half Century among the Siamese and Lao: An Autobiography", Fleming H. Revell Company, New York, 1912, p.169-170)

Church discipline is not popular and is rarely practiced in Thai churches, and the same can be said for churches in the West.  When it is practiced, it is often for those “big” sins like adultery or embezzlement of church funds.  Other repeat offenses like slander, gossip and divisiveness are unrightly overlooked.  The term conjures up images of judgmental, critical, self-righteous nitpicks who stick their nose in other people's business where it doesn’t belong.  Many Christians incorrectly see the goal of church discipline as punishment, despite the fact that the Bible says that the goal of church discipline is restoration and reconciliation.

When a church building goes up on the mission field, everybody feels good.  The missionary feels good.  The local believers feel good.  The church back home feels good.  Having a church building gives the impression that a church has been established.  It is a visible sign of the Christian faith in a community.  Everybody feels good that the Gospel is advancing and the presence of a church building is a sign of that advance.  Or is it?

When the construction of a church building is largely funded by foreign money, the presence of a church building is not a true reflection of the strength and numbers of a local church.  Also, if missionaries (or their home churches) are always standing by ready to supply money for newly established churches on the mission field to build church buildings, then this desire to be helpful can foster two wrong ideas:  1)  church buildings are necessary in order to be a “real” church and, 2) if you need money, look to the missionary (or the well intentioned short-term visitors from their home church).  When the foreign missionaries and their churches are seen as sure sources of money, then the local believers’ motivation to give financially to their own church is lessened and local believers are less likely to make decisions that the missionary doesn’t agree with.  If they do, then there is the fear that perhaps the money supply will be cut off.  In this way, independent decision making and partnership in the Gospel as equals is diminished.  A patron-client relationship harkening back to the days of colonialism is unintentionally nurtured.